I'll pass on the green beer...but I will take you up on some Enya

This is what most people are going to wake up looking like
tomorrow. 

So today was good 'ol Saint Pats day and to be quite frank I didn't really give a fuck. I do in fact have Irish heritage but I really didn't feel like going onto ancestry.com to one up the rest of the world who also claims to be an ounce of Irish today. Nor did I get shit faced off green beer by 2 pm. . Mostly because I have developed a very complicated lie about myself [that I have an allergy to ingredients in beer because the taste, no even just the smell makes me want to vomit profusely] that doesn't allow me to get down. I also didn't wear green, primarily because I don't own anything in a Kelly clover color (it just doesn't do anything for my skin tone, although I'm sure it would make my eyes radiant ;). So I was a free for all for the assholes that love to pinch anyone not wearing shamrock socks or a headband with a pot of gold embroidered onto it.  I briefly considered going out and was going to wear this:

Slutty costumes for any occasion!!
Get yours at whorefortheholiday.com
today!!

But I thought I might get sent home from work, which I can't afford so I just stuck to my regular old all black uniform. Because I'm a ton of fun.  For those of you who did celebrate this is the religious icon you celebrated today:

"Why do you shame me lads and lasses??"

Do you recognize him? Its thee Saint Pat!! And the four leaf clover represents the Holy trinity. Apparently people get crunk on this holiday because its supposed to be a lift of a fast that also prohibits drinking alcohol for several months, I'm sure everyone in Ireland devoutly follows that religious custom.


This probably looks more familiar:

Ohhh me lucky charms!!

The way I really wanted to celebrate this holiday is the way I want to celebrate it every year....with a McDonald's shamrock shake. This is one of the few times that I get wrapped up in limited time only offers.

 Its news to me that grimace has an Irish Uncle

I know I could go any old place and get a mint flavored shake any time of the year but my questions to you are: Will it be under $2? Will it be an alarming green dye #6 hue? Will it be thick and delicious, made right in front of me? Will it be served with a McSmile? And I don't think you can say yes to all of those questions. That disappoints me. What disappoints me even more is that I didn't have the time to hustle down to Mickey D's this March, its just too damn far of a walk on any given day and today for my lunch I had to study for an English all by myself at Quizno's. It was quite the lonely lunch over a sub sandi listening to lite rock and reading about Critical Race Theory.


My boyfriend spent the day being anti-celebratory about the holiday (I think he's a little bitter that nobody went all out for Black History month, I put on a mammy costume for him and served fried chicken but it still didn't lift his spirits...hey! I tried to be festive!)* That and I think he's a little embarrassed he was caught on camera in this video:

They really thought they had em! They were ready to go all Lottery Ticket on the pot of gold....oh you don't know Lottery Ticket? Its a comedy starring Lil Bow Wow made just this past year! Here's the synopsis: Bow wins the lottery and everyone in the hood wants their share (No I didn't see it, they told me the whole story in the previews while I awaited my feature film Death At A Funeral starring Chris Rock).


So I didn't get my shamrock shake on but I am going to get down to one of Ireland's most famous and talented artists imported to America...the one and only Enya. You think I'm joking around but I have been doing modern/interpretive/ballet dance in my living room since the age of four to this talented artist, if this voice can't transport you to the Emerald Isle and all of its magic...you don't even have an ounce of 'rish in ye.

And as I peacefully go into this otherworldly realm to song I will be envisioning a few of my other favorite Irish things:

Incredible magical film

Who can honestly say they haven't been
wrapped up in the magic of Riverdance
on PBS once or twice??

Badass Sinead O'Connor

Magical Rainbows with pots of gold

Apparently C.S. Lewis is a 'Rish

*I have never nor will I ever dress up in black face or any highly offensive racially based costume. I am a P.C. Princess. Only kidding, in very very poor taste.

ONE hour of "outdoor" time/ Castro Aftermath

So we're back in the swing of the work week...FML. I wish I could just groundhog day the weekend and do the same shit over and over subtly changing minor details. It was wonderful to have my dear friend Jersey Jordan in town...he always brings the fun. The major downside to Saturday night was "springing ahead"...you know the time change so it feels like it stays light out longer when really all it does is fuck up your sleep schedule. By the time we got our group to move from one end of the Castro to the other it was practically bar close, just when I had made it to my favorite dance floor they turned the lights on! There is nothing like a hardcore cock block/ check with reality like the halogen lights coming on mid-pelvic thrust/ hip gyration on the dance floor. A person can go from Kim Kardashian to Snooki in a matter of mere seconds. My pal thinmint was more than happy for the early bar close seeing as how she was a xanexed out like a zombie falling asleep at whatever bar stool we left her on, the rest of us felt robbed of our power hour.

Sunday was the day of rest, I woke up in the mid afternoon to my gal pal Ms. Hotlanta watching a Girlfriends marathon on BET aka the afro-american sex and the city.

Remember UPN??

 When she left to go about her daily activities I took over her place on the day bed  (mattress we permanently keep in the living room for house guests) right in front of the TV and started watching the black Dramedy: The Preachers kid.
Its basically a mixture of the movie Dream Girls, A Walk to Remember and something else I can't quite put my finger on. As cheesy as it was I was enthralled, like how a person can get with Lifetime movies. You know that what you're watching is not a thing of substance or quality but you're trapped, hoping the plot thickens and becomes more intelligent or intriguing. Usually it doesn't....but I stayed wrapped up in it from beginning to end. I occupied my time with this instead of going to Church like many people do on a Sunday morning, I feel like it at least a second best. Here you can experience the highs and lows of the film through the preview, it pretty much sums up the whole film:

I did leave the house for about an hour to go out to Sushi Boat with J and Beefy, where I of course did not eat sushi nor did J. Instead we went for the most Americanized option and got Bento Boxes of Terakayki Chicken and Chicken Katsu with rice and the pile of iceberg lettuce with every one's favorite secret sauce (thousand island). 

The Safe Option

The restaurant is still fun because the little boats with sushi on them go round and round their little river in front of your seat in a relaxing and mesmerizing way. I feel as though mentioning Japanese Sushi forces me to mention the devastation in Japan. Absolutely horrible and although I'm agnostic it can't hurt to pray for those poor people in their time of desperation and need. In fact I try to ignore the news besides the necessary information because I start to get wrapped up in emotion over things bigger than me and out of my control, I'm emo enough without crying over the woes of this world. Still a moment of silence and a prayer for good health and quick recovery for those in need.


After my hour of fresh hair and clouded sunlight I returned home back to the nest of comfortable seating arrangements that is my living room and took up the activities I had briefly left...smoking the vape and watching TV. J, the Beefster and I briefly entertained the idea of activities such as seeing a movie in theatres, bowling, going to a bar to play trivia, but every time it came down to actually getting ourselves together and going to do one of these activities we changed our minds and stayed in our seats. We watched the first season of Parks and Rec. beginning to end in fact, in a daze. I just can't get enough of that Leslie Knope!

Leslie Knope trasnporitng gay penguins in car seats.
Season 1: must watch

jennifer lopez is still relevant from time to time

I really fell in love with Jennifer Lopez from the get go, On the 6 was amazing..."If you had my love" equaled the sexiest woman in a music video I've ever seen...here's a couple of my faves PLEASE enjoy!! Because she is relevant again...

If at all possible download her song "Come over" off the J.Lo albumn...super sex song/ masturbation song. you'll loooove it!!

Psycho cheerleader and her russian orphan sidekick

So today I pulled a really immature but necessary maneuver and "accidentally" came into work for the closing shift instead of my scheduled opening shift. When my alarm went off this morning at 8:20 and I pried the eye mask of my sweaty face and the sunlight of early morning overwhelmed me I felt like I would rather die than get up and put on professional attire...I wouldn't say I was necessarily hungover just slightly handicapped by staying up too late and having a few VT's the previous night. I knew it wasn't the responsible choice to go out and play but when Jersey Jordan comes into town its just as intense and chaotic as a tsunami...you have no choice but to go with the flow, regardless of the potential destruction.

Awkward Eyemask

[Jersey Jordan is a dear friend of mine that I met shortly after moving to SF in a shitty college Psychology class. We immediately befriended each other because there was literally no one else in our class that had a normal functioning set of social skills or a decent IQ for that matter and that included our super psychologically disturbed teacher. Ironic...I know. You see on the first day of class we were paired up with neighboring students that we had to interview and be interviewed by in order to present personal information about one another to the rest of the class as a sort of get to know you game aka the worst and most annoying game that you have to play in school. I was paired up with an angry fire crotch Russian nursing student that really did NOT want to get to know me or reveal any information about herself. She didn't seem to like Russia or the U.S. too much, didn't seem to care for her family all that much either nor did she have any special interests or hobbies. I have a feeling if she follows through with the nursing career we will hear a news report about her pulling one of those "Angel of Death" deals, euthanizing her patients. Jersey Jordan got stuck with a super odd, large headed, seemingly gay legal midget who wore Ugg boots, a faux Louis Vuitton scarf and was a pathological liar who liked to gain the attention of the class to tell long winded stories and horribly cheesy jokes. We later learned he wasn't gay but in fact was married. We found this out because he brought in his wedding album to share with other students, although I was extremely curious about who he made his bride I just couldn't give him the pleasure of my curiousity/ attention. After these two super awkward individuals did a horrible job of presenting our vibrant personalities and fascinating life stories to the class we sought each other out and didn't separate for the rest of the semester. We also happened to be neibs in the lovely TL, so our school life blended into our personal life and we became even greater pals. He is also the former roommate and best friend of my dear friend Thinmint, which is how I established that amazing friendship. Hanging out with the two of them together is like hanging out with Beevis and Butthead gone Jersey shore. This past January however little Jordy decided to spread his wings and head out to Los Angeles solo. I was terribly upset with him for going out on his own to live his dreams and wanted to cut all ties to show my deep resentment, but I just can't quit him and so we still talk pretty constantly- mostly harassing each other through text and facebook. And now he's back in the bay with his hometown pal Beefy. Last night was the calm before tonight's storm...]


So not only did I make the poor choice to do the "accidental" schedule mix up but I also happened to notice that my manger did a real schedule mix up by scheduling me for a closing shift on the ONE night a week I have class which she has done over and over again. So I brought it to her attention today and what a TERRIBLE idea that was. She tried to snap off on me and tell me I needed to get my shit together because I'm under performing in sales and there is a potential of me losing my job. Along with all of this delightful information she berated me for having poor health over the last year (because I of course love missing work due to illness and therefore seek out getting bronchitis and throat infections) as well as taking my legal paid vacation time that I have earned for working for the company for OVER four years, which in retail years is about ten. Of course I listened respectfully, nodding my head and quietly apologizing as I internally snapped off on her with really brilliant come backs and super abusive retorts. This bitch is the LEAST empathetic human being, she values work and sales above her own personal life which is probably why she will have her lady parts shrivel up inside of her and she'll die alone with her dirty face and crusty hair. The worst part is she pretends to be nice and understanding.  She neglects the fact that I'm probably in the top 5 group of associates who give great customer service and that I help her idiot ass perform the basic functions of her managerial position on a regular basis. As I've said before commission driven sales is not a relaxing or enjoyable life style. I am a sweet, slow, patient manatee amongst hungry, mean, aggressive sharks including our newly recruited associate. I think she is certifiably insane. She harasses all the customers by getting way too into their personal space bubbles shouting extremely peppy greetings that deafen them into a state of shock and confusion, then she grabs their personal belongings and anything they may have picked up while shopping the floor and shoves them into a fitting room where she badgers them into a sale they're not sure of. She has been trained this way by her former employer, a little slut factory otherwise known as BeBay* also the former workplace of the psycho cheerleader manager who worked there for 7 years without taking a sick day (which is why she is going to get a brain tumor, you just can't deal with what I'm sure is the misery of working for such a crazy company without a vacation or personal day for that long and not have some serious repercussions). According to them if you had the lowest sales it was your job to clean the employee bathrooms as a way to shame you, punish you and mock you or as they like to say encourage you to pick up your numbers! This shop girl on crack still dresses like she's at the prost-a-tot* shop wearing everyday stripper heels and cropped tops, but unfortunately for her she's a butter-face. Great Russian minx bod but when you get up close just a tired ass face with fucked up teeth, framed by straight cut unnaturally black hair. If you can't tell I'm not too fond of her, even though she probably thinks we're friends because she refers to everyone as friend, but I don't think anyone feels the same. Everyone that is but the French shark...I think he is only acting friendly because: A. he's desperately lonely and B. he's living the old adage "keep your friends close but your enemies closer" he knows her game because he's the master at it and is faking a friendship to keep an eye on her shenanigans. Nevertheless I'm going to keep my distance because: A. I don't care enough about the competitive nature of my job to consider her an enemy and B. She reminds me a lot of the Orphan from the film of that title, I have a lingering fear she's going to wipe off the makeup and be a creepy 40 year old psycho killer who wants to unleash her internal rage.

This bitch is my nemesis and worst nightmare.

To make a long story short I hate my fucking job and need to find a new one...unfortunately working for this company has been my first and only professional job and I'm terrified of trying something new. That and I have health benefits and paid vacation, which I don't think you get right off the bat working at Forever21 (my second choice for a career). Nevertheless I'm going to print up my ridiculous/ serious ass resume..it goes something like this:


1995-1999: Lemonade Stand feautirng rice krispie treats and homemade earrings as well as free parking on Drew Ave. S in South Mpls for the Edina Art Fair


2003-2006: Professional babysitter (never had my boyfriend in your shower that's why I'm making $12 an hour) but please do not contact former employer because she's currently in a Texas mental institution post-divorce.


2006-2009: High end department store outlet styling in the great skyways of downtown Mpls, I can sell you anything you want at a decent price but no we're no in the bazaars of the Middle East, its a real corporation so I'm unable to bargain.


2009-2011; Real ass department store [supposedly big $$] ]: Facilitating the needs of the desperate housewives of SF, tourists, crazy bitches, online shoppers and chronic returners. I'm  here to sell you $80 t-shirts and $200 jeans. I offer you a bottle of water, my honest yet complimentary opinion and eternal gratefulness...please USE me!


So who the fuck wants to hire me?? If my lady lumps were made up of less fat I would probably be a stripper...it IS the the most economical option.

 Buuuuut I feel like I should have some other options but I'm not sure what they are. Coffee shops open too damn early, childcare is a lot of responsibility, retail is just schlepping clothes in one way or another and everything else requires a college degree or a high IQ...both of which I'm working on.


Getting trashed = skill accomplished. Chelsea Handler pleeeeeeeease hire me, I compliment your zany ways!! xoxo, lola

this man is out of his fucking mind

Charlie sheen is bat shit crazy but I really don't give a fuck cuz I hate Two and a Half Men anyways.

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Television retardation

So although yesterday and today were two very different days they ended in practically the same exact way… absolute vegetative state with the boyfriend watching comedy specials (weather they were intended to be or not) on TV to the point of not being able to muster the brain to vocal power to grunt out a version of laughter. Now I’m sure you know the old wives tale claimed that’s relayed as scientific fact that a person has less brain activity while watching tv than it does while sleeping. I call bullshit on this! I would like to know how this could be so when I’m watching an episode of Forensic Files and I’m figuring the case out with the detectives as they go? Or what about when I’m watching Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune and winning in my own living room (because my brain is so ALERT I’m firing off the answers at a rapid pace!)? What about when I’m calculating in my head how the three easy payments add up to be for a shake weight while simultaneously thinking of where my phone is to call the toll free number now?? And what about when I’m psychoanalyzing the guests on Dr. Phil? Don’t you dare tell me that I’m barely conscious while I’m powering through these challenges from the comfort of my couch! But this evening was an exception to my way of thinking, I did in fact watch television to the point of being retarded.

The only fun in the day was my lunch with Ru and Thinmint discussing techniques to use while giving fellatio (which would be inappropriate lunch conversation in public but we were the only patrons in the little restaurant we were at) over our Thai food.

 It is always a trip to go out on a dining experience with Ru Williams because he is the most demanding patron, he turns into a Super Queen with super expectations and the poor dear doesn’t realize it! His tone has a sense of expectation like he’s Donald Trump. He also loves to edit the menu to his liking much to the confusion of Sin Yu who doesn’t understand his requests. As soon as they try to jack up the price (legitimately) for him adding kobe beef instead of regular he gets a disgruntled, ghettoisha. The poor dear doesn't even realize he's doing it!! Which is exactly why its so fucking hilarious to make fun of him for it, because then he gets all embarrassed and huffy and puffy and pouty.  I love my friend dearly, but I had to put my head down in shame when he asked the wait staff at The Cheesecake Factory to warm up the butter for our bread [they replied "Well it comes out of the fridge before we bring it to your table...but uhh we'll see what we can do..."]. Meanwhile Thinmint acts like the most sincerely thankful diner in the world, she apologizes for any possible inconvenience that may arise, followed by a Thank you and an offering for her first born child if they happen to do her the favor of bringing extra napkins or salt. I just enjoy my meal, say thanks, drink lots of refills and leave a decent tip.

When I finally got home it was unwind time, snuggling with the boo, hittin the vape and watching Daniel Tosh’s new stand up special Happy Thoughts which was apparently filmed right here in San Francisco! We were a little outraged we missed out on the fun. We also watched a rerun of the Joan River’s roast and to me a somehow missed episode of True Life: The Theriot family.


 My best friend back home Winter is an avid daytime TV watcher, actually make that 24 hour TV watcher…her family constantly has the boob tube on, I think it only ever goes off if they’re out of town or the power is out. She has a mental catalogue of the True Life series, complete with bios of the featured characters and the best quotes. I haven’t inquired with her yet but if anyone knew about this episode before I did it would definitely be her. Perhaps they re-ran this episode due to the fact that its Mardi Gras and this episode featured a family of teenagers who live in the Bayou and party as hard or harder than the Jersey Shore cast. The family is a walking talking example of white trash. They get crunk with their parents, the daughters sleep in one room on some crazy huge pull out bed, they wrestle in horse shit in their barn, they ride around in the back of trucks as transportation…its all wild and hilarious. You must see: True Life | The Theriot Family: The Riot In The Bayou | My Mom Hates My Boyfriend

Two of my favorite quotes come from the brother in the family, in reference to wrestling in manure he said “We don’t mind, it’s just like dirt to us” and to his girlfriend who wanted to know his back up plan in case he didn’t make it as a big time bull rider he said something to the effect of “Yea I have a back up plan, I want a realistic job too…something like ACE hardware”.  I hope he means he wants to own and operate one otherwise I’m not quite sure about his life’s plan, but this did come out of the mouth of an individual who got a giant bull head tattooed across his chest complete with a cowboy hat hanging off one of it’s horns.

big mama

So this week started off rough...all because of dollar drinks in the castro. Yes, I did say dollar drinks. The urban legend is true. I'm bot usually the type to start the work week off with a hangover but I got peer pressured into going out and being fun. My friend ms. Vegas hipster hottie (who will now be referenced simply as ms. Vegas) had a friend from back home in town and she needed assistance in showing her a good time on her last night. I believe its quite difficult to impress someone with a night out on the town who is from a city with an entire advertising campaign about how insane of a place it is. Nevertheless we were up for tge challenge.

And so ms. Vegas, her friend nueve, ADD party boy, elah and I hit Q bar. My plan was to have a couple cocktails, be moderately fun and make it home at a reasonable hour. None of this happened. Instead I went from dancing and laughing with a buzz to probably sloppily swaying and stumbling around shit faced intoxicated. I went to the line of being "within reason" intoxicated and crossed it. Which lead me to again blacking out and being an insane, devil girlfriend, drunk monster who wanted to yell nonsense and cause a ruckus around the apartment all night. Of course I wasnt aware of thus until I woke up the next morning alone in the living room and telephoned a very UNamused boyfriend. The fun was over.

I felt like a low life and tried to make it up to him by delivering hot coacoa and treats to his work. A from the heart attempt for forgiveness (which I eventually got). But alas no it wasn't the treats or the groveling for forgiveness that resolved the issue but my willingness to attend the film Big Mama's House: like father like son (that and a Make the neighbors call the cops hash out fight that couples so often have to have to resolve drama...but that's not important). And let me tell you the film was as cheesy and ridiculous and stupid as you think it would be, with the previews giving away several trademark big mama lines. What the film didn't tell you was a VERY key plot point, the son is an aspiring rapper!! And of course it just so happens they go undercover at an all girls arts school where he of course finds a love interest who expands his horizons. So besides slapstick its also a ROMCOM!! wow I've said way too much about this movie. I do however want to find a way to post the most ridiculously epic impromptu rap/dance/musical scene that took place. I'll find a way. Actually I can't...this is the best I can do...

Like Father Like Son

Besides seeing next years oscar worthy films the week has continued on as usual.

Last night I had big plans to attend a birthday party with Ru Williams but flaked accidentally due to exhaustion and gluttony. The bf had just picked me up from work and dropped me off as he looked for parking, so of course I got instantly undressed and laid flat on my back in my gloriously comfortable and cool bed (the most refreshing and magical experience after a long day). Just as the relaxation began to pulse through me my friend Thin mint called. The BF had ran into her while looking for parking and they had come up with a plan to smoke and drive down to the neighborhood bar her boyfriend was at. Although every muscle in my body begged to stay in bed I complied.

We took it easy at the bar with one drink each, her BF hot rod had not been taking it as easy and was excited to keep the festivities in swing so we hit up a delicious little restaurant for pitchers of sangria and homestyle eats. It was amazingly delicious...as the conversation bounced around from one subject to the more humorous next one I felt like I was under a spell. I couldn't stop eating or drinking despite the fact that I was getting more bloated and drowsy by the minute. I left the restaurant with the intention of touching up my face, throwing on my party pants and higher heels...but ended up right back at square one: naked in my bed. it was dark and rainy and dreamy and i didn't leave it...I woke up again at 2 am realizing I wouldn't be making the party and with sleepy disappointment went right back to sleep till 10 this morning

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She made it look so fucking easy!

Now I'm gonna be honest I've only seen about 10% of the Oscar nominated films...but besides cheaping out on seeing The King's Speech because it was too serious to capture my attention before seeing films like Due Date, I did see Black Swan which in my book is the most important. I also saw Tangled which I think makes me an even better critic of the choices we had this year. But besides all that I have dubbed it my personal duty ever since I watched the Winter Olympics starring Nancy Kerrigan and Kristi Yamaguchi to base performers purely on their costume choices versus their actual merits. It just seems like the most fun and realistic way to go about it. On that note:

Although Anne Hathaway can be really annoying she did have
some really great looks. The shiny blue not so much, but the
chain fringe metallic really captured my heart. Of course
every woman looks good in red.

This was the gown of the evening for me.
The embellishments are to die for. Its
the most elegant almost Grecian like gown.
I'm jealous.

Point proven. J. Hud looks crazy sexy cool
in this gown although her breasts looked a little
odd I must say.

Halle Berry always looks like a golden
glowing angel and with all this tulle
she was truly gorgeous.

This little doll was another angelic
looking beauty. She knows how to work it
while most girls her age are in a major
awkward phase or overcompensating
and looking slutty. High marks!

Ohhh ScarJo. Although this color makes
me giddy she hid away one of her best assets
her breasts!! And if you get up close and personal
the hair was quite a mess. Beautiful but a little
boring.

Look at this beauty and her little bump again in the
magical mauve. Even the lady behind her is oddly grinning
in awe of her. The dress was a little mature looking and simple
but she's knocked up so we'll let it slide and give her high marks
for wearing the maternal glow so well.

I'm torn on this gown. Yes it has a lot going on
but its kind of visually interesting and odd in a pretty way.
This pic cracks me up because of how much she towers over
little Keith. She's like a marble statue with crystal
embellishments.

Melissa Leo tried...yes she's a woman of a certain
age but she also won best actress which gave her
an excuse to get all fluffy and fancy. Unfortunately
she chose this sort of MOB [mother of the bride]
look. Eh whatevs.

There's something about this bitch that always irritates me
so I don't really care what she wears. She looks fine. 

Sometimes daring to be different just doesn't work.
I thought this dress was horrid. Its like an oval
frame for her barely there breasts with awkward modern
sleeves and shitty pearl/mold growth around it.
If you could just remove that vest like oval frame
thing it would be lovely.

She's got a great bod but she's wearing something
I'd throw on to go to the beach. There's no imagination,
no creativity, no damn accessories!! If she would have added
a blinged out necklace or some bangles and pumped up the volume
on the hair she would have been worth taking a second glance at.

Add caption

Reese copycatted Julia's look from back in the late 90's/ early 2000's
and apparently made a trip to the mall for one of those clip on ponytails
the pushy Asians sell at kiosks.

This bitch is wild. She looks exactly how I
would dress to be a sexy witch for Halloween
or a random Tuesday night (I like costumes)
but threw in a fan for dramatics. I can't
help but feel drawn to her dark magic though.

Penel looks amazing for having just given birth
but I was a little shocked at this sort of trashy looking dress.
It reminds me of a hot pick for prom. I like sequins
in subtle ways and these are quite loud.
She's usually so glamorous...but she is still 1/2 of
one of the most attractive couples in the world.

Another example of someone going sequin crazy. This is an
amazing color, but just a little whatever. Nothing exciting about
it.

And of course this was my absolute fave.
Mila looks like a lilac dream.
A train! Lace! Lingerie inspired!
She just looks like she smells like
a bouquet of flowers. She's amazing.




Overall the Oscars were a little lackluster, again this could be because I didn't have a real passion for any of the films...since I only saw a few. Anne Hathaway was Anne Hathaway, James Franco was adorable and seemingly blazed out of his mind.









One of the excitements of the evening for me was Melissa Leo dropping the F bomb in her acceptance speech. I swear like a sailor so its refreshing to hear others use foul words in unexpected settings such as a major awards show. I always enjoy Gay PDA, I enjoy it because I like the idea that non-gay friendly people are forced to come to terms with the fact that there are queers, they are here and they're normal, happy human beings. I mention this because I noticed a (non-staged) lesbian kiss between a docu. director who won an Oscar and her partner. I rewound the DVR to see if I was witnessing a quick lady to lady peck on national television. I was. Its 2011...people swear and have gay partnerships, but its fun to see on TV you know that shit wasn't happening back in the day when Bob Hope was hosting.
I was of course that my little prima



But for the most part we were riding the dick of the Brit's for The King's Speech. I think Americans get obsessive about British culture because we think having an interest in it makes us more refined.
But as I said previously the Oscars like many celebrity events is basically about me sitting in in my sweats with a glass of white wine talking shit about other people's fashion choices. So of course that is exactly how the boys and I enjoyed the evening.